Wolf whistling. Fairly common place but increasingly people are beginning to take more notice of it and challenge it. It seems that this is a fairly controversial issue to discuss but what I'm trying to understand is why is it so controversial? Is it controversial because it offends the offenders? Isn’t that highly ironic?
Some do perceive cat calling as complimentary but I would argue that this is the minority and that in reality, given the choice, women would probably rather be complimented during a conversation, not in an intimidating and lairy fashion. One of my friends told me that it massively depends on what mood she’s in, sometimes a whistle boosts her self-confidence, but other days makes her feel anxious. I know that she would much rather be complimented during a genuine conversation.
After putting it out there and asking people for their experiences I had a lot of feedback and some interesting points came up. One of my friends told me that she regularly gets whistled at on the way to the gym. Another, that for some reason people always whistle at her when she is cycling. Somebody else, that she often gets shouted at by men out of cars to “smile” or “cheer up love” as if women aren’t allowed to be anything but happy and cute looking.
One of my male friends told me that his girlfriend is whistled at quite often when she’s with her female friends but never when he is with her. He told me that he doesn’t understand why men do it because it achieves nothing positive and all it does is make a girl feel uncomfortable. Good point. This friend is 22. I had a similar conversation with a man I know who is in his sixties; he made exactly the same point. So, it can’t be to do with age. Something that these two men have in common is that they very much view men and women as equals.
Is the answer then, that wolf whistling males want to make women feel uncomfortable? Possibly. Is it because they don't respect women as equals? Almost certainly.
It’s common knowledge that cat calling makes people feel uncomfortable. If a person wanted to pay somebody a compliment and respected them for more than their looks, then they would go and talk to them as an equal. My sister and I were in Leeds city centre on a Saturday evening and a group of men (old enough to be our Dad) decided to whistle at us. When I turned around and told them that wasn’t okay, you should have heard the reaction, it was as if I’d just shot one of them. One of my friends told me that she usually responds to whistlers and tells them their behaviour is unacceptable and people look at her as if she is overreacting. Part of her worries that she is overreacting, what if she is just being ‘too sensitive?’ Was I being overly emotional when I challenged that group of men because girls are overly emotional…?
No.
That’s an age-old myth that has been enforced on society, along with ideas that women’s sole purpose is to be child bearers and not fit for professional sports etc… When you think about how we’ve thrown all of those stereotypes out of the window, then why do these ridiculous concepts like the ‘over-emotional’ female still exist?
One of my colleagues suggested that people react so badly when they are challenged because they themselves are insecure, and don’t like being challenged by somebody who according to the hierarchy is ‘lesser’ than them.I.e. historically, a 40 year old man is more significant that a 21 year old woman. There is definitely something in this. Another good point, is that you whistle for something when you want to control it, like an animal for example. It’s a display of dominance. Makes you feel uneasy when applied to human beings right?
Some people hold the view that if you wear a short skirt or a strappy top then you are ‘asking for it.’ This point of view is baseless. It suggests that cat calling is somehow justified and excusable when it is absolutely not. It is part of a historic ‘victim shaming’ culture of women because their gender automatically makes them liable to immorally entice men. This is an attitude that led to events such as the Salem Witch Trials… why does it still exist in today’s society?
It’s 2018 and some people still think that this behaviour is acceptable. ‘It’s just a laugh’… ‘boys will be boys’… but in reality, it continues to reinforce out of date, inaccurate and disrespectful gender stereotypes. If you wouldn’t treat your daughter, sister, cousin, Auntie, Grandmother like that, then don’t treat anybody like that. Imagine somebody whistling and leering at your sister and think about how uncomfortable that makes you feel.
These are all things to think and talk about, but we have definitely reached a point that women need to stop being expected to accept wolf whistling and start calling out the cat callers.
Em x
Facebook: Emily Ankers - Leeds Girls Can Ambassador
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